The Pigeon Hole
by Sapphire Snowflake
Summary: Love letters, fan mails, hate mails, death threats, bills, notices... Because everyone has to write a letter. Even Sasuke… Anthology
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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- **The Pigeon Hole –**

**1. SasukeXSakura: The Cold Bench**

_Dedicated to Bab, the happiest person that I know._

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_Sakura,_

I am going to content myself with looking at you from afar. Even if you're with someone else, at least I will be able to see you smile.

I will stay at the sidelines if it is the only way to make you happy.

You don't belong to my world – a world full of blood and vengeance. You're too pure for it. Leaving you at that cold bench is better than letting you come with me.

Live and continue to dream.

_Sasuke_

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…

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_Sasuke,_

First of all, I would like to tell you that you are the world's greatest JERK, you EMO!

Secondly, what the hell is that letter? And of all the places to leave it, why on that freaking bench?

_Damn you._

I _should_ hate you for being a jerk, for all those times you called me annoying, for all the pain that I feel (now and maybe forever. Why don't you do something about it?), for leaving me in a cold bench (Yes! I have to include that.) and for being an irresistible and (oh-so) hot shinobi.

Wait, I have one thing more to add to that list…

I _should _hate you for letting me fall in love with you.

I should hate you but I didn't. I can't. How can I hate the person I love the most?

And then that letter you so gracefully left in that c bc. You sound like a stalker, Sasuke-kun. What do you mean by contenting yourself with looking at me from afar? And when did you stay at the sidelines? And how am I supposed to feel happy with that?

I want you beside me, baka.

Tell me you're joking with me or else I'll castrate you.

You're telling me to move on.

Move on.

Move on?!

_Damn you_, for the second time…

Of all the things to include in your letter, you chose to include that one. You can at least start it of with a '_How are you?' _or _'I'm going home in like, a few years.' _or better yet a _'Wait for me sweetie.'_ instead of that!

Fine. I knew the last one is too much.

Anyway… Instead, you are telling me to move on, live and continue to dream. What if I tell you that you are one of my dreams? Huh?

Jerk.

It's too late. I've fallen so deep that I won't be able to bring myself out.

I love you and I will continue to love you forever and ever. Even if you're a jerk, an emo, a retard, a bastard or a traitor, I don't care. Even if everyone I see down the street says nasty things about me because of it, I don't give a damn.

I don't CWTS, okay? They could gossip about (you and) me for as long as they like. So come home as fast as you can.

I will wait for you with open arms and a 'tadaima'.

The annoying one (according to you),

Sakura

--+--

AN: Yeah… Weird fic. Meh.

Reasons why I started this anthology:

I have to get rid of all the plot bunnies in my head.

I have to put into good use the time allotted for one of my subjects.

oyasumiquincy challenged me into incorporating CWTS (it's actually one of our subjects… Stands for Civil Welfare Training Service) to one of my fics.

Fine, I know that the way I put CWTS here is so lame. Guess what CWTS here means…

Reviews?

Sapphire Snowflake


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

AN: A _whatever_ chapter…

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- **The Pigeon Hole –**

**2. SasukeXSakura: The Cold Bench Part II**

_Dedicated to me, the lamest person in the world..._

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_Sakura,_

What the hell does _I don't CWTS_ mean?

Not that I tried to absorb and memorize every word in your letter.

_Sasuke_

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…

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_Sasuke,_

I thought you're smart. It's _I don't Care What They Say._ I'm too tired to write that one last time so I just made an acronym.

For world peace, why don't you just put some substance in your letters?

And I love you too.

Sakura

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AN: Fave line in this chapter: Not that I tried to absorb and memorize every word in your letter.

XD …memorize every WORD in your LETTER…

Fine. It's corny. Bite me.

Sapphire Snowflake


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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- **The Pigeon Hole –**

**3. Sasuke and Itachi: Drop Dead**

_Dedicated to anna, a person I love..._

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_Itachi,_

Drop dead, or something.

On second thought, don't. You must die on my hands.

_Sasuke_

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…

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_Foolish little bro,_

Remember to think before you act.

_Itachi-nii_

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…

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_Itachi,_

You're not my brother anymore. Don't flatter yourself.

And are you talking about yourself in your letter? I want you to know that I always think before I act. And I see you dead.

You bastard.

_Sasuke_

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…

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_Sasuke,_

Do whatever you like as long as you're contented… and happy.

_Itachi_

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AN: Short… and short. We all know Uchihas don't talk much.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I own the prompt

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I own the prompt.

AN: This is a shot at humor. Solely written for the sake of satisfying myself and maybe the readers as well.

It's a bit plot less, I know. But meh… everyone wants to satisfy their own hunger.

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- **The Pigeon Hole –**

**Prompt: Why do birds suddenly appear… every time you are near.**__

_**(with a twist)**_

_**Presenting,**_

**Itachi's Fan Mail**

_Dedicated to cherry, the person I used to like..._

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_Itachi-sama,_

Kyaa!! Itachi-sama, I am an avid fan of yours! I only read the manga (Naruto) so that I can see you and your amazing moves!

I wrote this letter to after noticing something. I was just wondering why do birds suddenly appear every time you disappear. Hmm… People usually disappear with a gust of wind or something like that.

But you disappear in a whirlpool of birds, err, crows.

Why?

_Fangirl X_

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…

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_Fangirl X,_

First, I want to thank you for your support. XD

The reason why I use crows in my disappearing act is it's cool and unique. I want to somehow stand out on a CROWd.

Everyone's been using fog or a gust of wind every time they disappear or teleport. I never feel comfortable in a bandwagon. I want to be different. I want to be unique.

Crows are cool not just because they match my outfit but because they somehow instigate fear and the concept of death. And that's how I _should_ appear, right?

_Itachi_

_P.S. I feel flattered every time I read 'Itachi-sama' in your letter._

_P.P.S. I'm sending you crows as gratitude for your support._

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…

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_Itachi-shishou,_

I want to be your follower! Please follow me!

_The follower,_

_SomeoneY_

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…**Newsflash: Berserk Crows in Tokyo**

A swarm of crows attacked a random citizen as he/she (no one can distinguish his/her gender because of the injuries he/she sustained) walked down the street, a bag of insecticide at hand. No one knows the reason for the sudden attack of the rabid birds.

All citizens of Tokyo City are encouraged to stay indoors to avoid another gruesome incident.

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…

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AN: Lame. Whatever. But don't flame me. And I hate writing news…


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